Every moment of my life...From Past Till Now...

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

I've decided to keep on this blogging gig... I've realised, writing keeps me sane.

After all, these posts are for my eyes only. But if any straddlers were to stumble on this post, be warned. There's really nothing much to see.

Labour day yesterday, had a unique experience at Istana Open House with ajay. Then dinner with ashraf and ajay at whereelse but spize bedok.

Ajay's going strong with his girlfriend, in spite of all that has happened before, with her father and all. Really pround of my bro. To me, if he can endure and come out strong from such an ordeal, there's nothing stopping him from weathering any storm. I'm now just waiting for the wedding invite.

As for me, still single, still forever alone. Don't get me wrong I'm fine with it. But everytime I reply "I'm still single" to a "Are you attached?" question, I can't help but detect a tinge of pain in my voice. Who in this world doesnt want companionship? But while I never has an issue being around girls, it's the "asking her out" part that gets to me. I see myself as a confident young man who has no qualms speaking to a large audience. Give me a mic and I can even give a lecture to an entire school without battling an eyelid. But somehow, especially when it comes to the girl that I like, my mind seems to be scrambling for the right words to say. Now at age 23, I have improved. But I have my fair share of "slap my forehead" moments.

Just this monday a girl friend called asking about school postings. While she's asking all I could muster replying were one-liners. "Hmm", "Ah-ah", "Yes", "Yup"... and to top things off, I ended the call with a melancholic "Bye.......". *Slaps forehead... I mean, the least I could do was ask how was she, how was her day, was she out or at home... Sigh. *Slaps forehead again.

But thinking back, I think I didnt want to act out of the ordinary. My replies were what a friend should have given. Simple and direct. But to go on and on about "Hows ur day" kinda thing might be borderline flirting. After all, she is Miss Popular. I dare say that if given the chance to know her, any guy will fall head over heels for her. Which is why I try to keep a leveled head. Although I spend a great deal of time with her in school, I know that at the end of the day, she's out of my league and I would never have a chance. Plus, I must remind myself who has stolen my heart first... BB.

Maybe I'm just overthinking this. And overthinking is one of my many flaws. Oh well, I shall let this matter rest.

Writing about Miss Popular and BB has sparked me to write on something... The girls in my life. There's alot, so it would most probably be a series. Good, good... I'll have something to do the next few days.

Writing does keep me sane...

frm past till now at-
1:16 PM